While this journey has been hard for me, it has been even harder seeing the way it affects my husband, Ryan. I can only imagine it’s the same feeling you might have as a parent when you would do anything to take away your kiddo’s pain. I feel that for my Ry every time I have to tell him, “still not pregnant.” This is my reality and I know it’s the same for so many of you.
For so long, I needed him to be my shoulder to cry on because I was really struggling month to month while waiting to see if I was pregnant. I took for granted he would always lift me up and didn’t think too much about him needing encouragement too. Often we forget that there are two sides to infertility. Much of the focus is on the women (probably because we are the ones being poked and prodded) that we can often neglect taking care of the men. While this wait affects me differently as the woman, my husband is equally affected, just on a different level. He needs encouragement and support just as much.
From day one, Ryan has always said, “WE are going through this.” That set the stage for the next 2.5 years. Having that reassurance removed the placement of any guilt or blame on one another for the journey we were about to embark. At the time, I didn’t realize the importance of laying that foundation, but it has made a world of difference in our relationship. That same mantra is applied to all situations we encounter. While it seems like a no brainer to say we when you are married, it only works when you intentionally mean it. When going through a wait, it can be difficult on a marriage. I encourage you to allow that wait to bring you closer to your spouse instead of the opposite. Pray with each other, and for each other, check-in on a daily, even hourly basis to see how they are really doing. Invest in supporting each other and continue to go through it together as WE. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it is worth it. If you are in need of prayer, please contact me. I would love to pray for you and your situation.
What things have you done for your spouse or heard others do to support them?
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Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.
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