I’ve always enjoyed words; their definitions, the power they have to describe our feelings, their ability to encourage others and change lives. So, I find it fitting to close out 2018, by sharing three words I would use to summarize this past year:
This year, my understanding and willingness to be obedient to God was tested. In February, Ry and I started down a different path of fertility treatments. It was a tough decision as we switched hospital systems, doctors and treatment options. We basically felt like we were starting over. To read more go to Not Knowing Why and Medical Update. There was so much uncertainty and fear, but we both felt at peace making this change. Because of this, we knew we had to be obedient to where God was calling us regardless of the unknowns.
Before this, I’d always thought obedience meant following the rules, the 10 Commandments, etc. I thought I was pretty good at this obedience thing until I realized it’s SO much more than just the things I don’t do. You see, obedience is also our willingness to DO: despite being afraid, despite feeling inadequate, despite our own understanding, despite knowing how or why. It feels a lot like walking around with a blindfold on. We can’t see the path, but God does so we can trust and follow Him.
Obedience is not easy, but speaking from experience, it is beyond worth it. It created this entirely new dependence on God, that deepened my trust in Him like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m beyond grateful for what God has taught me about the value this one words provides.
I always felt I was surrounded by a good community, but I learned what it looks like when you allow yourself to be completely and unashamedly vulnerable. My understanding and need for community grew once I started Living in the Wait and publicly shared our infertility story. I’m still amazed how a community, of known or unknown people, can rally and support someone. Ry and I have been overwhelmed by all the love, support and most importantly prayers we’ve received since sharing our infertility journey and now pregnancy. I know, with all my heart, that the reason Ry and I were able to continue Living in the Wait, is because of you. We needed community to navigate this part of story and are forever grateful you chose to invest in us.
I never realized the role of bravery in my life until this past year. Switching doctors and treatment options 2.5 years into our infertility journey, being obedient despite not having a clear path, sharing our story and being vulnerable all required me to do one thing: Be Brave.
My need for this five-letter word became more apparent after reading 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs. It reaffirmed the importance of courage in our everyday lives and that despite my feelings, I am brave.
Happy New Year and much love to you all! I can’t wait to see God at work in your lives this coming year! Thank you for following along and finding value in the message of Living in the Wait.
Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.