The Wait List features guest posts from people just like you and me, all sharing a coming thread of you guessed it, waiting. No one wants to be on the wait list, but through these features, I hope you find encouragement and see all the miraculous ways God works through us during that time. If you are interested in sharing your story on The Wait List, please contact me.
Guest post written by Meredith.
What one thing were you waiting for?
My husband and I assumed, like most couples, that we would naturally and easily get pregnant shortly after we were married. But that never happened. After unsuccessfully getting pregnant, I was eventually diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). We explored two rounds of fertility treatments, both of which “failed” with no detectable pregnancy. We wrestled with thoughts like: “Why God? Are you punishing us? Are we unworthy of being parents? Why does everyone else get what we want? Do you love us less?”
Fertility treatments were physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. So we decided to take a couple months break from the turmoil of trying to conceive. That initial goal of a couple months turned into a few years! A lot of waiting. A lot.
How did God help you in your wait?
God showed up in my life in a mighty way by drawing me intimately close to him. He gave me the gift of time; by not caring for a child on the daily, instead I was given the gift of spending time day after day getting to know God through his Word. I know myself well enough to confidently say that if I was caring for my child, I wouldn’t have the discipline of reading the Bible for hours on end. But that’s what I’ve been given the gift of, and I praise the Lord for that! I know the Lord and the truths of Scripture in beautiful ways now, and this has transformed my thought process and my walk. In turn, I have been able to walk alongside others through ministry work and share the gospel through my life and God’s story.
The Lord has helped me in the wait to see that his plans are far greater than my own. Oh, how truly merciful, gracious, and active he is in our lives! Also, I have grown to rely on and trust the Lord—not doctors, not Google, not my friends and family—no, the Lord is the One who has given me rest, peace, contentment, and joy. It hasn’t been easy, nor has it been quick. But I see that freedom and joy is abundantly mine through Christ, and all the glory, honor, and praise is due him!
How did you continue to Live in the Wait?
Part of me doesn’t believe that I’m “waiting” for a child anymore—and I mean that in a joyful, freeing way! But because we have not officially closed the door on waiting for a child, so we do our best to listen and submit to God’s leading.
Our infertility journey brought me to my life verse, which is from Philippians 4:11. It says, in part: “For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Contentment is a beautiful, godly gift that I’ll never take for granted because of my waiting journey. I have to actively choose contentment. I have to choose joy. I have to choose confidence in the Lord. I have to choose to be patient. It’s so hard sometimes, but we have the freedom to choose our responses to life’s trials. But the Lord honors our trust, faith, and obedience!
Was what you were waiting for received? If not, how did God provide differently instead?
We do not have children. But we have received much. We have received freedom, joy, contentment, peace, and many wonderful memories. God strengthened our marriage, drew us closer to one another and him, and blessed us with eternity-bound freedom and fun!
What advice would you give to someone else who is in the waiting?
Each person’s circumstances are different, and so are one’s personalities, so I don’t think there is one ideal piece of advice. But, God’s Word tells us many times over how to wait well! So my first piece of advice is to read Scripture, discover it, drench yourself in it, apply it, and be transformed. Learn from Christ!
A simple, easy to remember verse that I’d advise is 1 Peter 5:7, which says: “Cast your cares on him, because he cares for you.” The Lord desires to carry your burdens and he wants to be involved in your waiting. He cares so deeply for you that he sent his Son to pay the penalty for your sins! Why wouldn’t you cast your cares on him?!
On a basic level, my advice is: take your time and don’t make emotionally-charged decisions. It may feel like your age and circumstances are weighed against you, but do not rush the process in impatience and fear. Examine your heart carefully to see where you need conviction and growth. See yourself in light of God’s mercies and his view of you, not how the world and our culture sees you. You are worth much to him, so much that he died for you, his beloved.
Please pass this message along to anyone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait, is going through infertility or is childless not by choice.
Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.