I was visiting with a friend who had been journeying through infertility for over 5 years. I had recently found out we were expecting, and as I sat across from her, my heart was unsettled as I decided how best to tell her. I wasn’t quite sure how to have a conversation with someone still trying because I had always been the one in that position.
As we were wrapping up our conversation, I told her I had something to share. We’re pregnant and I started crying. In that instant I knew why I had been hesitant: guilt. I felt bad because I knew how painful those words are to hear when you are still waiting for that positive test. I knew what it was like to be surprised by someone else’s good news, all while trying to be supportive and excited, when deep down your heart is breaking. I remember being happy for those who had gotten pregnant, but so sad for us and our circumstance. All those painful emotions of our wait were mixed in with our good news.
She then shared the most freeing and selfless words to me. You should not feel guilty for the beautiful gift you have been given. You have life growing inside of you and that is something to be celebrated.
It made me realize that while my feelings of guilt were coming from a good place, wanting the same gift I received to be given to others, feeling that way puts the power and responsibility in my hands to make their dreams and story complete. And that’s not my job, it’s God’s.
The beauty of our exchange is this, we don’t need to feel guilty for the gifts God has given us. Never. God made the decision to give us those gifts, not the other way around. He gave them to you at the proper time and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to question His timing. You can still celebrate your gifts and be respectful of those still waiting by praying, sending words of encouragement and being sensitive to what updates you share. Continue to support them and be ready to celebrate the gifts God gives them.
Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.