3 Ways Infertility Will Change Me As a Parent

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During Christmas, Ry asked me if I had a deeper appreciation for being pregnant and if my parenting would change because of our infertility journey. I quickly responded yes. I told him, I couldn’t go through such a difficult experience and not be changed. 

While I can’t say with certainty what I would’ve been like as a parent pre-infertility, my gut feeling is that it may have looked a bit different. Similar truths would still be woven throughout, but three have risen to the top. My priorities have changed since going through infertility and that’s ok. I know our journey has changed me and in turn, will impact the things we value most with our baby to be.

For those currently walking a path of infertility, are there other things you would include?

For those no longer on this path, is there anything you would add since becoming a parent?

Living in the Wait
This is not something I would’ve prioritized with our children prior to infertility. Mostly because I never found any value in waiting. It disrupted my day, caused frustration and wasn’t part of MY plan.

Now, I want her to see waiting as an opportunity to grow closer to God. To hear from Him, rely on Him and trust Him. To be transformed. When she’s waiting, I want her to know she can hear God’s voice guiding her next steps or saying I love you. I want her to ask God, what are you teaching me during this time and how are you going to use it for your glory? I want her to know through Him, she can make the most of her wait.

Trust God. Period
Our journey has made me re-evaluate what it means to truly, genuinely trust God. It was so easy for me to trust Him when things were going according to my plan and I got what I wanted in a timely manner. But this quote from Ernie Johnson changed my entire perspective.

“This whole thing is about this: trust. Is it going to be trust with a question mark? Is it going to be ‘I’ll trust God if (insert whatever thing you are going through) comes back the way you want it to’? Or is it going to be trust. Period.” (Johnson 141)

I want her to know God is there, regardless of her circumstances, emotions, what she sees or doesn’t see. He is there whether we get our heart’s desires or they come in different packaging. We can Trust God. Period because of who He is and His love for us.

Be Brave
I never realized the significant role bravery plays in our lives, but it was exactly what I needed for this season and beyond. Bravery affects so much of who we are: our confidence, willingness to try and do things, how we interact with others, etc.

For us, that included publicly sharing our story, starting over with a new medical facility and being obedient to God’s direction for us. I want to be an example by being brave with my actions and words, even when it’s difficult. I want to share how being brave deepens our dependence and trust in God. I want her to know her feelings do not determine if she’s brave, because she already is.

What difficult experience have you gone through and how has it changed you and your priorities?

Reference: Johnson, Ernie Jr. Unscripted: The Unpredictable Moments That Make Life Extraordinary. Baker Book House, 2018. Print.


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