I’ve always enjoyed words; their definitions, the power they have to describe our feelings, their ability to encourage others and change lives. In 2018, I closed out the year by sharing three words that described it and found it fitting to continue the tradition for 2019!
This is a topic I’ve talked about before and this year was no exception. After 3+ years of navigating infertility, our daughter was born in May. Unexpected might be an understatement when it comes to being first time parent’s, but this year brought many other unexpected things, besides parenthood, and the ability to function on minimal sleep.
Motherhood and the recovery that comes with it was much more than we planned or expected. We are still navigating many of these things (more to come when I’m ready to share), which has required, who would’ve guessed it, much more waiting! Anyone sensing a theme here?!
We knew our family and friends would be supportive after Crosbee’s birth, but they helped us out in many unexpected ways from making meals, grocery shopping, watching Crosbee so we could get some sleep and most importantly, praying for our new family.
I knew my heart would burst upon our daughter’s arrival, but it’s been so much more than that. Being Crosbee’s mom is spiritually fulfilling and I can’t say I expected that to happen. Maybe it’s because being Crosbee’s mom has given me the firsthand experience to know how God feels about me, His child. My heart flutters just thinking about her and who she is. I just love her so much.
The way she interacts with Ry, is beyond anything I could’ve expected. To give you a glimpse of her adoration for her dad, picture her little face, grinning ear to ear, while her entire body jumps and wiggles whenever she sees her daddy.
I had planned to connect with you more this year through blog posts and social media, but I ended up taking more time off than anticipated. It was a refreshing break and I look forward to connecting with you even more in 2020!
This year reminded that the unexpected moments in life, can create a deeper dependence and trust in God.
While our family’s vision statement is based upon this powerful word, I typically thought of it as something given to others.
As a first time mom, I wasn’t prepared for the amount of grace I would need to give myself. From navigating my birth experience, recovery, nursing, defining what it means to be mom, and don’t forget, growing and nurturing a human being! The list is too long to publish in one post. There were many, many times I placed undue responsibility for things far beyond my scope. Perfection and the illusion of control plagued many of my thoughts, but grace nudged it’s way in, reminding me to loosen my grip on the negative beliefs and feelings I placed on myself.
Crosbee’s middle name is Grace. We chose it based upon our life verse Romans 5:1-2. I often say her full name, because she’s my daily reminder of the meaning and importance of grace towards others and ourselves.
This year had me in awe for many reasons:
- God answered our prayers and we were finally going to be parents!
- That my body was able to grow another human being.
- Knowing God chose me to have Crosbee.
- I get to be a mom.
- I have a daughter.
- Her curiosity as she explores, learns and grows knowing this is her first time experiencing everything the world has to offer!
- She’s here, she’s truly here.
- Her little heart and mind are under my protection.
- The continued love and support from friends, family and all of you!
Happy New Year and much love to you all! I can’t wait to see God at work in your lives this coming year! Thank you for following along, reading blog posts, commenting, emailing and praying for us. My family is forever grateful to you for investing in our lives!
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Please share with someone you know who could use some encouragement in the wait.
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